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Writing your autobiographical statement is one of the most important pieces of the adoption process. Imagine it is a resume for the most important job you’ll ever have. Birth mothers/placing parents review your profile, and a potential match stems from their attraction to what they read about you. You never know what attracts birth mothers/placing parents to a particular family. Often they chose someone with similar likes, and values. Sometimes they chose people whose lifestyle has elements they would have liked for themselves, and would like for their child. Here are some basic tips on how to put your profile together:*
  • keep your biographical statement to one page
  • chose a few pictures to add to it, in color, that best represent your lifestyle
  • print your statement in black ink on white glossy paper for a professional crisp clean look
  • make sure you proofread and correct all errors
  1. 1. appreciate the birth mother/placing parent for the difficult but loving decision to move forward with adoption
  2. 2. be honest about yourself, do not exaggerate, but emphasize the positive
  3. 3. if married, state how long, if married previously, if you have other children, quality of your marriage
  4. 4. state how important having children is to you; if you have no children, state why not
  5. 5. let the birthmother know about your cultural heritage and religion if it places an important part in your life
  6. 6. if you like the outdoors, highlight this fact, add a picture showing you in that setting
  7. 7. if you have animals, add a picture of them (one birthmother picked a couple because they had a dog!)
  8. 8. discuss what you do for vacation; how you celebrate holidays
  9. 9. if you have a close-knit family, emphasize that fact
  10. 10. add a couple sentences about your education and your work
  11. 11. add a picture of your home
  12. 12. if you are a single applicant, discuss how the situation would change if you become partnered
  13. 13. discuss child-care
*Visit some adoption websites and read other adoptive parent profiles to get a first-hand look at how to put yours together.
Although Adoption laws vary State-by-State, some basic information is similar. Check with your State to find out specific facts. Here is general information based on California adoptions: Birth mothers/placing parents will be told more about you once they have shown interest in your profile. You will need to disclose your name, age, religion, your educational level, your type of work, and the general vicinity where you live. Also, you will need to disclose any health issues you may have, if you have children, if you have children out-of-the-home for whom you are paying child support, any child abuse allegations, and any arrests, even if they occurred when you were a juvenile. Birth mothers need to disclose the identify of any possible birth fathers, when they began prenatal care, if they drank or took drugs while pregnant, and if they are in counseling or take psycho-tropic medications. If they have been in counseling within the past two years and/or are taking medication, they will need to have a psychological evaluation by a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist before they can sign the consent form/relinquishment.
Here are some questions about birth mothers/babies you need to think about: Are you willing to accept a birth mother from another State? Will you be willing to accept a birth mother who needs to move from one State to another to complete her adoption? Are you willing to pay for birth mother housing during that time? Are you willing to pay for birth mother expenses, as allowed by law? Will you consider a baby with health issues? If so, what kind? What ethnic/cultural mixes will you accept? Will you consider a birth mother who has been on hard drugs? Any drugs? Who has smoked during her pregnancy? Drank alcohol? Yes/no; somewhat, moderately, heavily? Will you consider a birth mother with psychological difficulties? E.g. major depression, bipolar, anxiety disorders, schizophrenic…..? If so, which disorders?* (Note to self- write about genetics & hyperlink to that writing) Are you willing to be proactive in your adoption? For example, to be proactive means: to be in contact with the birth mother? To what degree? Phone, visits, outings? Are you willing to complete paperwork correctly and in a timely fashion? Are you willing to volunteer to hand-deliver any paperwork to the agency representing you if necessary…. What kind of continuing contact are you willing to have with your birth mother? For example, are you open to occasional visits? Are you willing to send her pictures and letters periodically? To be in touch via e-mail or phone? Whatever you say you are willing to do, be sure you follow through. Adoptive parents who say they are willing to do something, and then fail to follow through, leave a birth mother feeling used.