A little kindness goes a long way

A friend has been complaining about a neighbor for a while. He lives in a condo and the condo above is a rental. In the few years he has lived there different renters have come and gone. However, six months ago a mother, grandmother and teenage daughter rented the condo above.

They had small dog which they let out without a leash (against association rules) and allowed to poop without collecting it (an even larger no-no). Moreover, the dog would bark at my friend and try to bite him whenever possible. One day he was stopped from getting to his home for three minutes….

The teenage daughter invited many of her friends over (the development is normally quiet) and they would eat junk food and leave the garbage all over the place. Since they were neighbors, a lot of their waste (including cigarette butts) ended next to his condo. And the teenagers smoked pot and were rowdy which the residents of the condos did not appreciate.

After many phone calls and emails to the homeowners association, and gently asking the teenage daughter and other occupants of the rented condo by many different owners (including my friend) the renters started to listen and obey the rules a little better.

The challenge for my friend was that these people lived immediately above him and even though he had complained less than the other neighbors, he always got cold looks from these neighbors even though he always said hello and smiled. I told him to smile more and continue to greet them.

Then there was a breakthrough. The other day the neighbor was wearing a pretty dress and he complimented her on it. She melted and asked if they were making too much noise. This was the first time she had any concern for his comfort.

As I said, “A little kindness goes a long way.” Now, it is important to compliment something you like. People understand the truth (at least unconsciously). There is something good about everyone that you can appreciate. Also make sure you don’t show unlimited appreciation.

I once had a boss who complimented everyone and he laid it real thick. The first time he introduced me as one of the best software engineers I loved it until he devalued it by calling everyone including those who were way bellow par as “one of the best software engineers.”

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