Be assertive – say no and boost your self esteem

A great part of self esteem is assertiveness and being honest. Unfortunately many people in our society mix up the psychological concept of assertiveness with aggression. Also people do not understand the concept of self esteem, ans often mix it up with narcissism and selfishness. I remember seeing a film which had the line: My […]

Excuses, excuses, excuses

If you have to say no to a request or cancel an appointment at the last moment it is best not give any reasons at all. However, if you have to give a reason, give just one even though in reality there may be a plethora of reasons in your own mind. Suppose you were […]

Be assertive

I don’t know what happened but the original writing in this post got lost. It is somewhere on my hard driver so when I find it, I’ll post it. However, something happened just now that I like to write about. I just got a phone call from an Indian call center about a free seminar […]

Be true to your word

Assertiveness is not aggression Assertiveness training used to be hot about thirty years ago and like other self help methods it has gone out of fashion. Therefore, many people imagine that being aggressive or manipulative is the same as being assertive. In fact, when you are being assertive you respect your rights, and  do not […]

You are always the target

I have written many times and have said to my clients and in seminars, "You are not the target." So what do I mean by writing the above? Let me start with a story: A few months ago I went to a seminar heard about something which sounded way too good to be true. I […]

Forgiving while still standing for your rights

Those of you who know me or those who have been to my seminars or to this website a lot know that  forgiveness is the linchpin of all my work. I have already mentioned that there is an issue of how to forgive while you are still being assertive. It is important to be assertive […]

How to stand for rights while forgiving

I’m in the middle of a dispute with an Internet company which has cost me plenty of time and money. At the same time I believe that it is important to forgive, release and move on. Understand that you do not forgive for the other but for your yourself. As Jesus said in the Lord’s […]

Do it with a smile or not at all

First thing part of your [tag]assertiveness rights[/tag] is that you always have the right to say no even to yourself. You always have the right to change your mind. You can chose to do anything you can do. You just have to accept the responsibility. You never have to do anything. You may [tag]falsely imagine[/tag] […]