Forgive and not forget?

Some people say:

“I could forgive, but I could never forget!”

On the other hand there are those who say:

“If you haven’t forgotten, you haven’t forgiven.”

Who is right?

Both

It really depends on what you mean by forgetting. Technically we do not forget anything. It’s just that we do not remember events like what you had for lunch forty three days ago and facts like your very first telephone number.

The memories are there hidden by newer memories. You don’t need them. But if forty three days ago you tried a new food that you liked, you’ll remember to eat it again, or not eat it again if it tasted awful to you.

In the same you know to avoid a hot stove, and avoid all sorts of other things without constantly thinking about the incidents which made you learn to avoid such things.

When you truly forgive, you forget in the same way. You remember the learnings. You remember to avoid the same situation. But you let go of the resentment.

You understand that we harm each other out of weakness and not out of viciousness. This allows you to feel sympathy and compassion toward the person who harmed you without ever allowing them or anyone else to harm you in that way or (hopefully you learn more) in similar ways.

When you forgive, remember you do not need to let the other person know about it or ever again having anything to do with the person who harmed you.

The forgiveness is one hundred percent for you. So you can let go and release your burdens to do with the event and live freely.

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