You are always the target

I have written many times and have said to my clients and in seminars, "You are not the target."

So what do I mean by writing the above? Let me start with a story:

A few months ago I went to a seminar heard about something which sounded way too good to be true. I spent money we could not afford in the current economic climate (but in reality who can afford psychologically as well as financially to be scammed) and I had been absolutely right. It was too good to be true.

When I realized that I did my best to get a refund from the company at first and then the credit card company. I had not read the contract and to cut a long story short had given away all my rights.

The contract was one of the most unfair contracts I have ever seen. It actually stated that they warrantied it possibly not to work and do nothing. I felt foolish and angry.

Now those who know me and read this blog know that forgiving is the linchpin of all my work. I’m a forgiveness “guru.” I have two wonderful (even if I have to say it myself – if you don’t say it who will) forgiveness CDs that you’ll be able to buy here soon (at this time you have to come to our office in Hacienda Heights to but the CDs).

Even so, this time forgiving was difficult. I kept telling myself this is because I’m still disputing the charge and was doing my best to be assertive at the same time as I was forgiving. Last week the final, final decision came from the credit card company. I now have the choice of taking the company to court or totally forgiving.

I decided on the forgiving part. However, no matter what I did I would not forgive and this made me more angry and it became more difficult to forgive. This morning I was reading a book by my compatriot “Bijan” based on “A Course in Miracles,” and I suddenly understood that I was not having difficulty in forgiving the other but the difficulty was in forgiving myself.

I always say that we have problems in forgiving ourselves and first we need to forgive the other. This morning I realized I had great difficulty (in this case) to forgive the other because I did not wish to forgive myself. I felt so guilty over knowingly allowing myself to be scammed that I refused to forgive the other so I could not forgive myself.

Once I realized this. I understood you are always the target of whatever negative feelings you have toward anyone else. As my dear teacher Dr. Stephen Hoeller kept telling us, “Remember when you point to another you are pointing two fingers at yourself.”

Now, there’s still the matter of forgiving. As soon as I have done that (realization alone does not mean that the task is done – but it a great start), I’ll write more about the forgiveness and its releasing effect.

So remember that you are always the target of all the emotions you put out. So send love and you’ll receive love.

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