Step one:
Appreciate your mate in your heart

When you appreciate your lover, your relationship improves. The first step in this appreciation is to do it inside yourself. Be glad and thankful that you have the lover you have and your relationship improves. As you drive home be happy that you are together again. With every breath you take, thank God, the Infinite Spirit or whatever you believe in, that you have this one person as your lover. Do this for a few days and observe how your attitude changes and how your lover’s attitude changes and how your relationship improves.

This use of appreciation may be used with things as well as people. When you appreciate something or someone it appreciates in value. Through appreciation you dignify (increase the value of) the object of appreciation.

Step two:
Show your appreciation

Show visually that you appreciate your lover. This exercise is based on things we see. Use your body language…. The clothes you wear. The way you decorate the room. The plate settings at the table. For this day do everything possible to make the surroundings visually appealing. Perhaps you could make a huge banner (use your computer for something extra wonderful) showing your love. Get a large piece of cardboard and crayons and make a card signifying your love….
You get the idea. Make today a feast for your lover’s eyes….

We process the world through our five senses. Within Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) we believe that people mainly process the world through one of the senses. Thus some people prefer the visual modality. Others prefer to use their sense of hearing. Yet others are most comfortable with their feelings. This modality is called kinesthetic in NLP and includes the senses of smell and taste as well as that of touch. In the next few days we appreciate our lover using the different senses.

Understand that we are each different and have our unique preferences. Thus different people will react to these methods differently. Use the ones which work for you and your relationships.

Step three:
Speak your appreciation

As Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, then play on….”
Today we use the sense of hearing to present your lover with harmonious sounds. Say, “I love you,” in that special way that only you know. Use the tone of voice which turns her* on. Play those songs which are meaningful to the two of you. Hum that tune she likes. Whistle her favorite tune….
You get the idea. Make today a feast for your lover’s ears….

* Rather than using him/her etc I will change the gender of the pronoun from time to time.