Colleen Ohlman, Author at Life Focus Center

Nurturing Resilience: A Therapist’s Perspective on Raising Daughters to Embrace Disapproval

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Family, Teens / Colleen Ohlman

As a mental health therapist, I’ve had the privilege of guiding individuals through the complex journey of self-discovery and emotional healing. One recurring theme that emerges, particularly among young women, is the struggle to navigate societal pressures and the fear of not being liked by others. Eleanor Roosevelt’s poignant advice to “raise daughters to be okay with people not liking them” resonates deeply within the realm of mental health, highlighting the importance of fostering resilience in the face of disapproval. In therapy sessions with adolescent girls and young women, I often witness the profound impact of societal expectations on their self-esteem and sense of worth. From a young age, girls are bombarded with messages dictating how they should look, act, and behave to be accepted by their peers and society at large. The fear of not meeting these unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. By incorporating Eleanor Roosevelt’s wisdom into therapeutic interventions, I strive to empower my clients to embrace their authentic selves and cultivate resilience in the face of judgment and rejection. Together, we explore the concept of self-worth and challenge the notion that it is contingent upon external validation. Through introspection and self-reflection, my clients learn to recognize their inherent value and worthiness, independent of others’ opinions. One of the most powerful tools in nurturing resilience is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem and fear of disapproval. Through CBT techniques such as cognitive restructuring, my clients learn to reframe their thoughts and beliefs about themselves, recognizing that their worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Mindfulness practices also play a crucial role in building resilience by helping individuals develop a non-judgmental awareness of their thoughts and emotions. By cultivating mindfulness skills, my clients learn to observe their inner experiences without attaching undue importance to external validation. This newfound sense of inner peace and acceptance enables them to navigate social interactions with greater confidence and authenticity. With two daughters of my own, I am very aware of the role that the home environment plays in their foundation, which is why I try to be very open and communicative with my client’s parents and caregivers. The goal is for parents to create a supportive environment at home that fosters resilience in their daughters. Together, we explore strategies for promoting open communication, fostering self-expression, and validating their daughters’ emotions and experiences. By nurturing a strong sense of belonging and acceptance within the family unit, we provide a solid foundation from which daughters can venture forth into the world with resilience and confidence. Eleanor Roosevelt’s timeless advice serves as a guiding light in both my work and in my home, reminding me of the importance of nurturing resilience in young women. By teaching our daughters to be okay with people not liking them, we equip them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges with courage, grace, and authenticity. Through therapy, mindfulness, and supportive relationships, we empower them to embrace their true selves and flourish, regardless of others’ opinions. Learn More ABout Colleen Connect with Colleen

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Helping Your Teen Through the Pandemic

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Teens, Trauma / Colleen Ohlman

Being a teen in ordinary times comes with its fair share of stressors, insecurities and uncertainties. Then, you throw in a global pandemic, and life for a teen can become very complicated. All that they have known and relied upon has shifted and they may be left feeling, anxious, fearful or depressed. “The Impact of the Covid-19 Pandemic on Adolescents”. “One thing that is really important for adults to remember is to allow their kids to grieve over their losses…their grief over what they are experiencing- or not getting to experience is real and parents need to give them time to process it” (Marshall, 2020). If you are the parent/friend/guardian of a teen and recognize signs of new or unusual distress, there are ways you can help. Talk to them This sounds obvious, but sometimes with the rush of daily life and our own lists of issues, we may forget to sit down and really get in touch with what is going on in their lives. Ask them questions. How are you feeling about virtual school? Are you keeping in touch with your friends? Do you ever feel overwhelmed by what is going on in the world? You may be surprised with their answers and observations. Getting them to voice their feelings can help. Encourage their expression. Validate their Feelings What your teen is feeling is legitimate and sometimes they just want to be heard and understood. Acknowledge what they are feeling/experiencing and reassure them that it is okay to feel afraid, sad, angry or anxious. They are missing out on many life experiences and they feel that loss very deeply. Positive Screen Time Due to the pandemic, most kids right now are spending hours and hours a day on Zoom, staring at their computers while “in school”. A break from their screens is important. Teens use their devices to connect socially with their friends, to do homework, and to contact teachers, so completely walking away from their devices is almost impossible right now. The right type of screen time is what’s important. Scrolling mindlessly through social media is not as beneficial as connecting with friends on social media. Be Alert for any major changes in behavior If you feel that your teen’s behavior just isn’t right, it may be a good idea to reach out to a mental health care provider. Your teen may benefit from talking to a professional and learning to develop methods for navigating this difficult time. At Life Focus Center, we are here to help. Learn More About Colleen COnnect with Colleen

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Adolescence Isn’t Easy

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Depression, Family, Teens / Colleen Ohlman

By Colleen Ohlman The World Health Organization (WHO) defines an adolescent as any person between the ages of 10 and 19. Adolescence is referred to as the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. If you are the parent of an adolescent, you may have already recognized some major changes going on with your child. Most of these changes are normal and a natural part of this transition from child to adult. However, there are some changes in behavior/thinking that might be a cause for concern and may need to be addressed. So how do you know if your child is experiencing “normal” symptoms or something more concerning? You know your child and if something just isn’t right, listen to your intuition. Chances are it may be right. If your child is grumpy, hormonal, moody or testing boundaries with you- that is probably normal. I have three teen children of my own and the power struggle is real! 🙂 However, if your child is showing signs of withdrawing, self-isolating, or major changes in behavior, sleeping or eating patterns, you should begin to pay extra attention to what’s going on and try to talk to them. Adolescents are experiencing what I refer to as a limbo period. Not a child, but not yet an adult. This can be an incredibly frustrating time of life for a person. They want to begin to express new ideas, thoughts and experiences but often won’t be taken seriously as they are “just a kid”. They are finding themselves, exploring their sexual identities, and making their way in a new social realm, all while their bodies are being flooded with hormones. This is not easy. As a youth specialist, I work primarily with adolescents and I can’t tell you how often I hear the phrase, “My parents don’t understand me”. They feel their thoughts and feelings are not validated. They feel misunderstood. They feel alone. These feelings can lead to distress. Try talking more openly to your child. Dig into those topics that are normally not discussed. They may think it’s “awkward” (a word I hear often) but it gets less uncomfortable the more you keep that dialogue going. Don’t just talk, listen. Be an active listener to your child. Let them know that you care about how they feel. Don’t assume they know as much. If he/she isn’t comfortable opening up to you and your gut is telling you that something isn’t right, it’s okay to reach out on their behalf. Be your child’s advocate. We are not less of a parent because our children prefer to talk to an objective person. It makes us better parents for getting them the help they need and deserve. I’m here to help if you feel your adolescent can benefit from talking to someone. I’m also here if you, as a parent, would like to discuss how to better navigate the world of parenting. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, life changes, fears, social interaction struggles, parenting skills, self-harm, eating issues, or suicidal ideation. Please call Life Focus Center and ask for Colleen 626-330-7990

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