Anxiety Archives - Life Focus Center

If You Leave the Convent

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Self Esteem / Elaine Kindle

“If you leave the convent, your life will be a disaster. You’ll end up on the streets. And if you tell anyone, you will scandalize them. You are NOT allowed to tell.” – Mother Superior Our Superior General made a declaration of how our future would be beyond the invisible walls of the convent. A frightening proclamation, likely aimed to keep us there, in line. Some of us left anyway. Over the years, I did not tell. Obedience or fear? When we keep an important chunk of our lives to ourselves, we hide who we are, we feel shame or embarrassment. We cannot move to the fullness of being who we were meant to be. Such is the nature of trauma. Stuck in time. Years later I realized that intellectually, still I hesitated to talk. What if people were shocked? What if they expected different behaviors from me, the “nunny” kind? What if they rejected me? I had, after all, experienced such reactions in earlier days when I first attempted to speak. But we come to a time in our lives, if we are lucky, when we say, ‘Enough is enough.’ I wondered why do we stay in situations that just don’t seem to fit? Why do we hold on, hoping, ever hoping, that the next step will make it work? When do we know that enough is enough? And why do we silence ourselves? As these memories pour forth, I recognize that many people of any age, religion, career or lifestyle can connect with basic threads of emotion that run through these events. When we share our lives, we can help one another to know we are not alone in our experiences, our reactions, and our searches. Many changes occurred in many convents since that time. Still, some hang on to the old ways. These stories are but part of my experience… Time filters memories, so what remains is a blend of history muted by time. Names and some circumstances have been changed to protect anonymity. Writing these stories, my stories, on paper is my attempt to understand more fully, to have courage, to take a leap of faith, and in doing so, hopefully others will feel they are not alone, and that, in mutual connectedness, all of us can move forward to value our experiences for what they are and what they were and in doing so, to live more authentic lives.

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Burned up & burned out?

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Depression, Stress, Techniques / Elaine Kindle

Perhaps you will identify with the story below. Alexandria struggled to keep her eyes open on her long drive home from work. The freeway was bumper to bumper. “Stupid drivers! Can’t you go faster?” Her head pounded from yet another headache. Work had been demanding as usual. “Today’s only Tuesday. How am I going to survive the rest of the week?” The drive was the exclamation point to a wearisome and demanding day. She felt her temper rise. Her headache got worse. She told herself yet again she needed to find a new job; one that was rewarding. A job that paid her what she deserved. This wasn’t a new thought: she had told herself she needed a new job for the past five years. But she was stuck. She had a reprieve of sorts working from home during the Pandemic, and had taken on more and more responsibility as people quit. But now, back in the workplace, the shortage of workers, the stress, the drive, had escalated her level of stress. Her bosses gave her more and more responsibility. No real salary increase. “That is just wrong. Insulting! Obviously, they don’t care about their employees.” They don’t care about me. No one appreciates the work I do.” Alexandria now answered to four bosses all with demands of their own. Just today, she had to cover for a sick employee and could barely get her own work done…and as she was walking out the door, one of them called her back and unexpectedly told her a report was due first thing in the morning. She felt her anxiety mount. “I have no idea how I’m going to get that done! I wonder why I wasn’t told about it earlier. Doesn’t she know my schedule is full? Why can’t someone else do it?” A particular employee who sat around doing little came to her mind. Her anger rose at the thought of it. “I don’t have any time for myself. I haven’t gone anywhere at all for ages…by the time I get home I don’t have any energy to do anything. I really need to find another job where I’m appreciated, not taken for granted.” As she exited the freeway she pulled into her usual fast-food drive-through to get dinner. Finally home, she walked through the door, set her stuff down, opened a beer to go with her burger and fries and flopped on the sofa to watch TV. Alexandria was at her wits end. She was exhausted. Unmotivated. Stalled in her tracks. She was drained, emotionally tapped out, not only too tired to do anything, but she felt unappreciated. Her spark was gone, her appearance reflected how she felt. She was frozen in her helplessness and in her exhaustion, and felt not good enough to get a better job. Not good enough to get a decent salary. Alexandria was burned out. If any of her story sounds familiar, you, like Alexandria, may be burned out. Ask yourself: do you still get satisfaction from your job or not? Has your motivation all but disappeared? Do you feel that what you do is not really that important? That you’re taken for granted? Are you feeling your negativity increase? Do you feel you are being taken for granted? Underpaid? Are you tired all the time? As you look in the mirror, do you see an unhappy stressed face? Are you finding yourself complaining to others or to yourself more? Have you stopped your exercise routine or other means of self-care? Has your diet gone to pot? Have you put on unwanted pounds? Have you told yourself you shouldn’t drink so much? Have you turned down some invitations to socialize with friends? Those are some signs of being not only burned up but burned out! Burnout is a state of being where a person is exhausted in body-mind and spirit. Alexandria felt overwhelmed, taken for granted, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep up with the constant demands her bosses made of her. The past eight years she had faithfully shown up, enthusiastically had dug in her heels to be the best she could be, but now she felt taken for granted, unappreciated, underpaid. Her resentment was piling up. And yet she was too emotionally drained and lacking confidence in herself to look for a new job. The thought of it, of having to go someplace new with perhaps the same type of bosses – or maybe worse — pushed her to a sense of despair. What to do? First, before you can fix a problem, you need to know there is a problem. If you think you have a problem, give yourself benefit of the doubt. Check yourself out. Likely you’ll notice you are affected in your total being, body-mind-spirit. To get yourself grounded, here are some “tried-and-true” body-mind-spirit techniques you can do: First on the list, always, are basic , basic techniques: Breathing techniques. This is so basic you might say, “I know, I know.” But do you stop to actually do a breathing technique? When was the last time? One that I learned and really appreciate is was from the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. What caught my eye was the heading “Emotion Regulation.” Any of us who are stressed, anxious, irritable can certainly identify with the concept of needing to regulate our frayed emotions. INSERT HYPERLINK TO DESCRIPTION Meditation: Yes, yes, I know you know. But have you paused for a few minutes to give yourself a few minutes to just be? It’s super hard for those of us who are wired with anxiety. Our mode is go-go-go. You know that these days you can find most anything you need to know on You Tube. Go there and search out someone who is really good at meditation who resonates with you and can guide you. Get a book on meditation and read a bit of it each morning. Here are

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Mule Train

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Techniques / Elaine Kindle

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Confucius Everyone needs encouragement. It’s difficult to feel like you are the only one cheering yourself on. Success, in reality, is a group effort. With perseverance and guidance, you can figure it out. You can surprise yourself and achieve more than you ever thought possible. The path of life is full of twists and turns, challenges arise and even danger. But then, when you least expect it, a course correction. And you can see a way ahead again. The Mule Train is a true story, and a metaphor of life. Only the names have been changed, except for mine, I am Mule #16. We are here to help you find your way again too. The candy-ribbon like road wound its’ way as far as the eye could see. Bending and twisting, it curved and stretched downward four miles to Indian Gardens. We were itching to get moving. Twenty-eight of us young women who moments earlier had stumbled out of three borrowed campers where we had stuffed ourselves into tight spaces, like green olives in a jar, surrounded by pots and pans, food for the weekend, sleeping bags, and guitars for the long ride from LA to AZ. Destiny: The Grand Canyon. Dressed in assorted colorful outfits we looked something akin to a gypsy caravan. All we were missing were dead chickens hanging upside down in the campers. And maybe some tambourines. We had quickly set up camp, (that is, sleeping bags thrown on the ground) and we were ready for adventure! Now we stood, eyeing the road that stretched ahead, walled in by centuries of red clay like mountains. Who wants to go hiking? Fifteen hands cut through the air. “Okay, let’s go!” said the self-appointed gypsy in charge. That afternoon, we began the long trek down the trail toward Indian Gardens, cavorting like mountain goats in Spring. We stopped along the way so this one could take pictures, and that one could point out the layers of red clay marking the centuries in the rocky hillside, and to follow the instructions of that one, into yoga, who instructed us to stretch our necks and arms upwards…eyes meanwhile took in how far we had walked. Pretty impressive. We sang and whistled as we rounded one bend in the road, and then the other. As we curled around yet one more bend in the road, we met a mule-train coming back up the trail. “Hey!” the mule-train leader hollered. “What are you girls doing? It’s too late to go much further. If you keep going, we’ll have to send helicopters in to get you. Once it’s dark, you can’t see anything!” The mules plodded by, swaying back and forth with their load of tired explorers. We watched them pass. “Okay, let’s keep on going,” said the fearless leader. Now we walked in earnest, determined to reach the bottom. No mule train leader was going to tell us we couldn’t make it! Finally, there it was, like a true Oasis in the desert. Indian Gardens. Green grass, a little caregiver cottage, and the river off in the near distance. No time to see the river. We drank long drinks from the water faucet set on the edge of the lawn. We stuck our heads in the spigot, and shook our hair like dogs. Streaks of red valleys, like flowing lava, ran down our faces. Ten minutes later, our gypsy in charge called us to reassemble. “It’s time to go.” The road up seemed much longer. Much. And much more challenging. Up always seems more daunting then down…. This time, we fell into a single line, one behind the other. We tackled the first turn in the switchback road. Determination and red dirt-turned-mud creased our faces. We put one foot deliberately in front of the other. Uphill all the way. We moved slowly and steadily, every now and then counting off our newly assigned nick names to make sure everyone was still there. “Mule #1,” “Here.” “Mule #2,” “Here!” “ Mule #3” ,…… down to Mule#16. That was me. Of course. No hiker but a joiner. Last still gets there. Behind us, out from nowhere it seemed, two young male hikers, with backpacks and hiking boots, passed us. They moved swiftly, shouting their hellos as they raced by. “We’ve been camping at the Colorado River for the last week,” they shouted with pride in their voices. We helloed back, and kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. As we turned another bend there were our camper friends, sprawled on the side of the road, gasping for air. “How’s it going?” we said as we walked by. Seeing us, they jumped to their feet and passed us again. We kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. Our friends were way ahead of us now, speeding along and as they rounded another bend, were out of sight. We counted off: “Mule #1, Mule #2, Mule #3…..Mule#16.” Did I say that was me? Rounding the next bend, there they were, these young brave adventures, sprawled out, quite collapsed in the middle of the road. We ourselves were winded as much as a hot air balloon being deflated, but we weren’t about to let them know. We barely managed to puff out a “Hello” as casually as we could sound while gasping for air. We stood up a little straighter, and waved as we passed them. We kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. Half way there. The sun had begun its’ descent. Time was running out. “Count down” wheezed the gypsy in charge: “Mule #1, Mule #2, Mule#3…..Mule #16. (Me.) Then from behind, ”Mule #17, Mule #18.” Our young friends decided to hitch their wagon up to this slow but steady mule train. The sounds of breathing replaced

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A Gymnast’s Mental Block

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Family, Teens / Tanya Bartholomew

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How to Cope with the Holidays

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Family, Teens / Jesssica Carrillo

The holidays can indeed be a stressful time for many people. With all the shopping, cooking, baking, and family visits, it’s no wonder some people find it difficult to enjoy the season. Americans have come to expect increased stress during this holiday season; however, it is essential to remember the holidays and find ways to cope with the added stress. Here are some ways you can help protect your mental health this holiday season: Learning and Utilizing Mindfulness and Meditation Mindfulness and meditation are invaluable tools to help combat stress and center your mind in a busy time. Mindfulness is described as a psychological state of awareness and the associated practices which promote this awareness. Mindfulness can also be referred to as a mode of processing information. Mindfulness is an awareness of one’s experience moment-to-moment without judgment. Many activities, such as yoga, meditation, and breathing, can promote mindfulness. The importance of utilizing mindfulness in any action is to be aware of the experiences and sensations around you; this can help ground you and bring you to a calmer state. Setting Clear, Firm Boundaries Another helpful strategy to weather the holidays is setting limitations. While setting limits with loved ones and even ourselves can be challenging, it is critical to our well-being. The limits we develop can be called boundaries because they clearly define what we are willing to do and for how long. Clearly defining these limits can help ensure that we do not overwork ourselves and take care of ourselves. One of the main reasons why the holidays may bring more stress in our lives is the lack of boundaries or boundaries that need to be clearly defined. Boundaries ensure we avoid spending all our time, energy, and money taking care of everyone else and not considering our needs. Boundaries can also provide physical and emotional safety; this is particularly important when adult children come back to their parent’s houses for holidays and seem to settle back into patterns of family behaviors despite being grown and on their own. Social commitments, extra expenses, family gatherings, and all of this, being off your typical schedule or routine is expected during the holidays. Being unable to do it all, particularly during the holidays, contributes to higher levels of stress, guilt, and feelings of depression. Boundaries are an essential form of self-care, and while they may seem complicated and harsh at first, the more they are set, the easier it will be for everyone involved. Boundaries help to decrease conflicts and make misunderstandings less common. Some examples of healthy boundaries are: Skipping, leaving early, or taking your car to holiday parties. Only saying yes because you want to, not by obligation or urging of others. Ask guests to avoid discussing divisive topics such as religion or politics. Sticking closely to a budget Communicating needs and expectations Leaving work-related activities such as emails for work time, not during your time off. Getting More Fresh Air and Sunlight Increasing your exposure to fresh air and sunlight can positively impact your mental and physical well-being. Being outside in nature allows you to take a break from the stressors of daily life and provides you with a calming and peaceful environment. It is no secret that getting out into the fresh air and feeling the sun on your skin can allow for calm and relaxation. In addition, sunlight exposure also helps your body produce vitamin D. Vitamin D is essential for maintaining healthy bones and a robust immune system. This can help combat the effects of stress, which can lower the immune system. Furthermore, spending time in nature has been shown to improve mood, reduce anxiety, and boost happiness and well-being. Seeking out Therapy Seeking therapy can be helpful for individuals struggling with holiday stress. Therapy can be beneficial when experiencing holiday stress and in the time leading up to the holidays. It can provide a safe space to express emotions, offer coping strategies, help set boundaries, provide support, and address underlying issues. Therapy can help clients cope during the holidays by: Providing a safe space for individuals to express their emotions. The holidays tend to bring a lot of emotions, and it can be difficult to express these emotions appropriately. For many, the holidays bring attention to grief or loss, increasing the severity of emotions experienced. Therapy offers a safe and confidential space where clients can share their feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Offering coping strategies: Therapists can provide their clients with coping strategies and tools to help manage varying levels of stress, anxiety, and depression that may surface during the holidays. Help setting boundaries: Therapists can help clients identify and set healthy boundaries with family members, friends, and colleagues. Setting boundaries can often be difficult, and emotions may come along with setting boundaries, especially with those we love and care for; therapists can help process these feelings and support you through the boundary-setting process. Providing support: The holidays can be a lonely time for some people. Therapy can offer clients emotional support and a sense of connection during what may be a difficult time to navigate. Addressing underlying issues: The holidays can be a trigger for individuals struggling with underlying mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. Therapy can help clients address these issues head-on and develop a plan to manage them during the holidays. While the holidays can be a challenging time for many people, the strategies discussed can be utilized to help manage stress and protect mental health. Mindfulness, boundaries, fresh air, sunlight, and therapy are all practical tools that can help alleviate stress and promote a sense of well-being during the holiday season. By taking the time to implement these strategies and seek support when needed, navigating the holiday season can be done with greater ease and allow you to enjoy the season to the fullest. Remember to take care of yourself this holiday season! Learn More About Jessica Connect with Jessica

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Nurturing Resilience: A Therapist’s Perspective on Raising Daughters to Embrace Disapproval

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Family, Teens / Colleen Ohlman

As a mental health therapist, I’ve had the privilege of guiding individuals through the complex journey of self-discovery and emotional healing. One recurring theme that emerges, particularly among young women, is the struggle to navigate societal pressures and the fear of not being liked by others. Eleanor Roosevelt’s poignant advice to “raise daughters to be okay with people not liking them” resonates deeply within the realm of mental health, highlighting the importance of fostering resilience in the face of disapproval. In therapy sessions with adolescent girls and young women, I often witness the profound impact of societal expectations on their self-esteem and sense of worth. From a young age, girls are bombarded with messages dictating how they should look, act, and behave to be accepted by their peers and society at large. The fear of not meeting these unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. By incorporating Eleanor Roosevelt’s wisdom into therapeutic interventions, I strive to empower my clients to embrace their authentic selves and cultivate resilience in the face of judgment and rejection. Together, we explore the concept of self-worth and challenge the notion that it is contingent upon external validation. Through introspection and self-reflection, my clients learn to recognize their inherent value and worthiness, independent of others’ opinions. One of the most powerful tools in nurturing resilience is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem and fear of disapproval. Through CBT techniques such as cognitive restructuring, my clients learn to reframe their thoughts and beliefs about themselves, recognizing that their worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Mindfulness practices also play a crucial role in building resilience by helping individuals develop a non-judgmental awareness of their thoughts and emotions. By cultivating mindfulness skills, my clients learn to observe their inner experiences without attaching undue importance to external validation. This newfound sense of inner peace and acceptance enables them to navigate social interactions with greater confidence and authenticity. With two daughters of my own, I am very aware of the role that the home environment plays in their foundation, which is why I try to be very open and communicative with my client’s parents and caregivers. The goal is for parents to create a supportive environment at home that fosters resilience in their daughters. Together, we explore strategies for promoting open communication, fostering self-expression, and validating their daughters’ emotions and experiences. By nurturing a strong sense of belonging and acceptance within the family unit, we provide a solid foundation from which daughters can venture forth into the world with resilience and confidence. Eleanor Roosevelt’s timeless advice serves as a guiding light in both my work and in my home, reminding me of the importance of nurturing resilience in young women. By teaching our daughters to be okay with people not liking them, we equip them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges with courage, grace, and authenticity. Through therapy, mindfulness, and supportive relationships, we empower them to embrace their true selves and flourish, regardless of others’ opinions. Learn More ABout Colleen Connect with Colleen

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Helping Your Teen Through the Pandemic

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Teens, Trauma / Colleen Ohlman

Being a teen in ordinary times comes with its fair share of stressors, insecurities and uncertainties. Then, you throw in a global pandemic, and life for a teen can become very complicated. All that they have known and relied upon has shifted and they may be left feeling, anxious, fearful or depressed. “The Impact of the Covid-19 Pandemic on Adolescents”. “One thing that is really important for adults to remember is to allow their kids to grieve over their losses…their grief over what they are experiencing- or not getting to experience is real and parents need to give them time to process it” (Marshall, 2020). If you are the parent/friend/guardian of a teen and recognize signs of new or unusual distress, there are ways you can help. Talk to them This sounds obvious, but sometimes with the rush of daily life and our own lists of issues, we may forget to sit down and really get in touch with what is going on in their lives. Ask them questions. How are you feeling about virtual school? Are you keeping in touch with your friends? Do you ever feel overwhelmed by what is going on in the world? You may be surprised with their answers and observations. Getting them to voice their feelings can help. Encourage their expression. Validate their Feelings What your teen is feeling is legitimate and sometimes they just want to be heard and understood. Acknowledge what they are feeling/experiencing and reassure them that it is okay to feel afraid, sad, angry or anxious. They are missing out on many life experiences and they feel that loss very deeply. Positive Screen Time Due to the pandemic, most kids right now are spending hours and hours a day on Zoom, staring at their computers while “in school”. A break from their screens is important. Teens use their devices to connect socially with their friends, to do homework, and to contact teachers, so completely walking away from their devices is almost impossible right now. The right type of screen time is what’s important. Scrolling mindlessly through social media is not as beneficial as connecting with friends on social media. Be Alert for any major changes in behavior If you feel that your teen’s behavior just isn’t right, it may be a good idea to reach out to a mental health care provider. Your teen may benefit from talking to a professional and learning to develop methods for navigating this difficult time. At Life Focus Center, we are here to help. Learn More About Colleen COnnect with Colleen

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Powerful Methods to Break The Anxiety Cycle

Courageous Tears

Leave a Comment / Anxiety / Elaine Kindle

By Dr. Elaine Kindle A young and highly skilled nurse recently was talking with me about her level of exhaustion and how she, herself, got Covid from her hospital workplace. I know her to be an extremely strong woman, highly motivated, fiercely committed to her profession. Yet, this strong, courageous woman, cried through most of her session. With her permission, I am sharing some of what she said to encourage you, who likely are experiencing your own Covid burnout, to redouble your efforts. And I listen to what she said and take it to heart myself: “On New Year’s Eve I quarantined alone in my room. It was depressing: I heard all the fireworks and parties going on… People get tested a few days before and then go to a party. They think they are safe. They are not…. You could get it the next day; you could get it from workers swabbing you! …. You can get it from food workers who go to work with Covid and don’t tell their boss and then touch the food they serve you… I try to take care of myself. To keep safe. It makes me so mad working night and day, why should I care for someone who hasn’t cared for me? I do everything I can to prevent a code, [yet] I heard 3 codes in a 12- hour period. It’s getting worse and worse and will continue to get worse …. The staff is exhausted; we are short staffed. I’m a tough nurse but I drive home from work crying because I’m so tired. Sometimes I park, sobbing. I pull myself together before I walk into the house. My mother asks how the day went and I say, ‘Fine.’” This is the plight of our health care workers. It’s one thing to be careful and still get Covid, but another to go out into social gatherings, or to be careless: I did not tell her than another of my client’s mothers had just died at that very hospital, nor that another client does not expect either of her parent’s to make it out of the hospital… nor of the single working mother who shared, “All of us got Covid, me and my five kids.” Hearing her tears, her exhaustion, I asked her, “Do you need time off?” She paused and said, “No…my team needs me more.” She is indeed a strong, courageous, committed woman. Covid is real, it does not discriminate, it does not care if you are drinking at a bar or praying at your Church. It is an “equal opportunity” killer. As much as we would like to think, it’s not over, it’s not close to over. Please everyone, look out for our nurses and our doctors; look out for one another. Let’s work together so we can beat Covid in 2021. Dr. Elaine Kindle

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Techniques & Treatments to Cope with Anxiety

Leave a Comment / Anxiety, Techniques / Elaine Kindle

Some people can learn to handle anxiety by using basic techniques. People with anxiety disorders may need addition help through medication and/or therapy. Basic Techniques The following techniques prove useful for many situations related to anxiety, such as stress and anger. Since self-esteem affects and is affected by everything we do, these techniques also help to improve positive self-esteem. Act “As If” Acting “as if” we are not nervous may sound like some sort of strange technique. Yet, this technique has been well-grounded in psychological theory. Our bodies-minds-spirits are interconnected and have the ability to help (or hinder) each other. If we stand tall, walk confidently, speech with assurance, these body movements can help to alter the mind/spirit. Remember the 1950’s movie “The King and I” about Anna and the King of Siam? In one scene, Anna is afraid when her ship arrives in Siam and in response, stands up tall, holds her head high, and begins to whistle the song, “Whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune and no one ever knows I’m afraid…” In this scene, we get an idea of “acting-as-if” behavior. Assertiveness training Many times we become anxious because we don’t know how to respond to a difficult person. Our anxiety can also develop into anger. Learning even a few assertiveness techniques can help us stand up for ourselves more effectively, and more appropriately. Assertiveness training needs to include practice with tone of voice since the tone will carry the weight of the message, and either work for or against us. Breathing Deep breathing helps the body to calm itself down. One simple exercise is to take three deep breaths in through the nose, hold each for a moment, and then exhale through the mouth. When we take in these deep breaths, we need to try to “stretch” the breathing. That is, when we think we have taken in all the air we can, we need to try to take in a little more. Chances are, we can. We do the same when exhaling. When we think we have exhaled all the air from our lungs, we need to try to exhale a little more. When we are anxious, we can exhale the air sharply, rather than slowly. This helps us to release tension. Distractions When we are anxious, getting upset with ourselves over that fact only serves to exacerbate the anxiety. For example, if we have difficulty sleeping at night, we often find ourselves “stewing” over our inability to get to sleep. Using simple distractions can help to calm the anxiety. Turn on the TV and watch an old movie. Read a book. In reading a book, it helps to chose one that helps to make us sleepy. Other books that are helpful are motivational books that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that the future will be better. Exercise Moderate exercise helps us calm our anxiety or relieve stress. All of us know that exercise helps the brain to release much needed serotonin which is the brain’s natural opiate. However, over doing exercising can stress our bodies and damage body parts over time. Walking remains one of the safest and most effective and inexpensive ways to exercise. We do not need special equipment or need to pay dues to a health club, or to buy certain clothes other than decent walking shoes. Dancing is another method we can use. Dancing around the house or yard releases tension. If we have access to a pool, swimming is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety because it exercises all the body muscle groups. Meditation Meditation is an age-old method of helping people to find inner peace and harmony. Meditation may be associated with prayer, or simply focusing on an object or thought. Music Remember the old saying, “music soothes the savage beast” or the phrase “mood music”? When we are stressed, anxious, even angry, music can help to calm the “beast” in us. Music written in 4/4 time with 16 beats to the measure is rhythmic, hypnotic, and can help us relax. Examples of such music is Baroque or Gregorian chant. Nutrition What we eat affects us in our brains as well as our bodies. Too much fat makes us fat. There are some food groups that energize us such as fruits and vegetable, and other foods that help relax us such as complex carbohydrates. Processed sugar and alcohol may help us feel good for the moment but can interfere with our mood and increase tension, stress, anxiety, and anger. The “quick picker-uppers” tend to follow the principle: what goes up, comes down. Quickly. Positive support systems People affect our lives either positively or negatively. This brings to mind the Fifth Commandment. Our spirits can be killed by being around negative persons. Sometimes we need to do “housecleaning” and eliminate those who drag us down. Many times this is not so easy to do because the persons involved are spouses, or bosses. When this is the case, it becomes more necessary than ever to seek out others who are positive-minded and who can help offset the emotional distress created by being around negative, unsupportive people. We need to understand that being around negative people, regardless of the reason, limits growth and well-being. Prayer Prayer is a powerful force. Prayer can take the form of a conversation with our Higher Power or God, or can be based on pre-written prayers, such as the Lord’s Prayer, or the Serenity Prayer. When we pray, we remind ourselves that we are not alone, and that there is another force beyond us that can assist us in improving our lives. Relaxation All of us need to take time to relax. What is relaxation for one person may be nerve-wracking for another. Some people relax by taking a long bath; others relax by taking a hike. Relaxation is a personal choice. The point is, all of us need to take a

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