Techniques

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Confucius Everyone needs encouragement. It’s difficult to feel like you are the only one cheering yourself on. Success, in reality, is a group effort. With perseverance and guidance, you can figure it out. You can surprise yourself and achieve more than you ever thought possible. ​ The path of life is full of twists and turns, challenges arise and even danger. But then, when you least expect it, a course correction. And you can see a way ahead again. ​ The Mule Train is a true story, and a metaphor of life. Only the names have been changed, except for mine, I am Mule #16. ​ We are here to help you find your way again too.   The candy-ribbon like road wound its’ way as far as the eye could see. Bending and twisting, it curved and stretched downward four miles to Indian Gardens. We were itching to get moving. Twenty-eight of us young women who moments earlier had stumbled out of three borrowed campers where we had stuffed ourselves into tight spaces, like green olives in a jar, surrounded by pots and pans, food for the weekend, sleeping bags, and guitars for the long ride from LA to AZ. Destiny: The Grand Canyon. Dressed in assorted colorful outfits we looked something akin to a gypsy caravan. All we were missing were dead chickens hanging upside down in the campers. And maybe some tambourines. We had quickly set up camp, (that is, sleeping bags thrown on the ground) and we were ready for adventure! Now we stood, eyeing the road that stretched ahead, walled in by centuries of red clay like mountains. Who wants to go hiking? Fifteen hands cut through the air. “Okay, let’s go!” said the self-appointed gypsy in charge. That afternoon, we began the long trek down the trail toward Indian Gardens, cavorting like mountain goats in Spring. We stopped along the way so this one could take pictures, and that one could point out the layers of red clay marking the centuries in the rocky hillside, and to follow the instructions of that one, into yoga, who instructed us to stretch our necks and arms upwards…eyes meanwhile took in how far we had walked. Pretty impressive. We sang and whistled as we rounded one bend in the road, and then the other. As we curled around yet one more bend in the road, we met a mule-train coming back up the trail. “Hey!” the mule-train leader hollered. “What are you girls doing? It’s too late to go much further. If you keep going, we’ll have to send helicopters in to get you. Once it’s dark, you can’t see anything!” The mules plodded by, swaying back and forth with their load of tired explorers. We watched them pass. “Okay, let’s keep on going,” said the fearless leader. Now we walked in earnest, determined to reach the bottom. No mule train leader was going to tell us we couldn’t make it! Finally, there it was, like a true Oasis in the desert. Indian Gardens. Green grass, a little caregiver cottage, and the river off in the near distance. No time to see the river. We drank long drinks from the water faucet set on the edge of the lawn. We stuck our heads in the spigot, and shook our hair like dogs. Streaks of red valleys, like flowing lava, ran down our faces. Ten minutes later, our gypsy in charge called us to reassemble. “It’s time to go.” The road up seemed much longer. Much. And much more challenging. Up always seems more daunting then down…. This time, we fell into a single line, one behind the other. We tackled the first turn in the switchback road. Determination and red dirt-turned-mud creased our faces. We put one foot deliberately in front of the other. Uphill all the way. We moved slowly and steadily, every now and then counting off our newly assigned nick names to make sure everyone was still there. “Mule #1,” “Here.” “Mule #2,” “Here!” “ Mule #3” ,…… down to Mule#16. That was me. Of course. No hiker but a joiner. Last still gets there. Behind us, out from nowhere it seemed, two young male hikers, with backpacks and hiking boots, passed us. They moved swiftly, shouting their hellos as they raced by. “We’ve been camping at the Colorado River for the last week,” they shouted with pride in their voices. We helloed back, and kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. As we turned another bend there were our camper friends, sprawled on the side of the road, gasping for air. “How’s it going?” we said as we walked by. Seeing us, they jumped to their feet and passed us again. We kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. Our friends were way ahead of us now, speeding along and as they rounded another bend, were out of sight. We counted off: “Mule #1, Mule #2, Mule #3…..Mule#16.” Did I say that was me? Rounding the next bend, there they were, these young brave adventures, sprawled out, quite collapsed in the middle of the road. We ourselves were winded as much as a hot air balloon being deflated, but we weren’t about to let them know. We barely managed to puff out a “Hello” as casually as we could sound while gasping for air. We stood up a little straighter, and waved as we passed them. We kept plodding along. One foot in front of the other. Slowly and steadily. Half way there. The sun had begun its’ descent. Time was running out. “Count down” wheezed the gypsy in charge: “Mule #1, Mule #2, Mule#3…..Mule #16. (Me.) Then from behind, ”Mule #17, Mule #18.” Our young friends decided to hitch their wagon up to this slow but steady mule train. The sounds of breathing replaced

Some people can learn to handle anxiety by using basic techniques. People with anxiety disorders may need addition help through medication and/or therapy. Basic Techniques The following techniques prove useful for many situations related to anxiety, such as stress and anger. Since self-esteem affects and is affected by everything we do, these techniques also help to improve positive self-esteem. Act “As If” Acting “as if” we are not nervous may sound like some sort of strange technique. Yet, this technique has been well-grounded in psychological theory. Our bodies-minds-spirits are interconnected and have the ability to help (or hinder) each other. If we stand tall, walk confidently, speech with assurance, these body movements can help to alter the mind/spirit. Remember the 1950’s movie “The King and I” about Anna and the King of Siam? In one scene, Anna is afraid when her ship arrives in Siam and in response, stands up tall, holds her head high, and begins to whistle the song, “Whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune and no one ever knows I’m afraid…” In this scene, we get an idea of “acting-as-if” behavior. Assertiveness training Many times we become anxious because we don’t know how to respond to a difficult person. Our anxiety can also develop into anger. Learning even a few assertiveness techniques can help us stand up for ourselves more effectively, and more appropriately. Assertiveness training needs to include practice with tone of voice since the tone will carry the weight of the message, and either work for or against us. Breathing Deep breathing helps the body to calm itself down. One simple exercise is to take three deep breaths in through the nose, hold each for a moment, and then exhale through the mouth. When we take in these deep breaths, we need to try to “stretch” the breathing. That is, when we think we have taken in all the air we can, we need to try to take in a little more. Chances are, we can. We do the same when exhaling. When we think we have exhaled all the air from our lungs, we need to try to exhale a little more. When we are anxious, we can exhale the air sharply, rather than slowly. This helps us to release tension. Distractions When we are anxious, getting upset with ourselves over that fact only serves to exacerbate the anxiety. For example, if we have difficulty sleeping at night, we often find ourselves “stewing” over our inability to get to sleep. Using simple distractions can help to calm the anxiety. Turn on the TV and watch an old movie. Read a book. In reading a book, it helps to chose one that helps to make us sleepy. Other books that are helpful are motivational books that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that the future will be better. Exercise Moderate exercise helps us calm our anxiety or relieve stress. All of us know that exercise helps the brain to release much needed serotonin which is the brain’s natural opiate. However, over doing exercising can stress our bodies and damage body parts over time. Walking remains one of the safest and most effective and inexpensive ways to exercise. We do not need special equipment or need to pay dues to a health club, or to buy certain clothes other than decent walking shoes. Dancing is another method we can use. Dancing around the house or yard releases tension. If we have access to a pool, swimming is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety because it exercises all the body muscle groups. Meditation Meditation is an age-old method of helping people to find inner peace and harmony. Meditation may be associated with prayer, or simply focusing on an object or thought. Music Remember the old saying, “music soothes the savage beast” or the phrase “mood music”? When we are stressed, anxious, even angry, music can help to calm the “beast” in us. Music written in 4/4 time with 16 beats to the measure is rhythmic, hypnotic, and can help us relax. Examples of such music is Baroque or Gregorian chant. Nutrition What we eat affects us in our brains as well as our bodies. Too much fat makes us fat. There are some food groups that energize us such as fruits and vegetable, and other foods that help relax us such as complex carbohydrates. Processed sugar and alcohol may help us feel good for the moment but can interfere with our mood and increase tension, stress, anxiety, and anger. The “quick picker-uppers” tend to follow the principle: what goes up, comes down. Quickly. Positive support systems People affect our lives either positively or negatively. This brings to mind the Fifth Commandment. Our spirits can be killed by being around negative persons. Sometimes we need to do “housecleaning” and eliminate those who drag us down. Many times this is not so easy to do because the persons involved are spouses, or bosses. When this is the case, it becomes more necessary than ever to seek out others who are positive-minded and who can help offset the emotional distress created by being around negative, unsupportive people. We need to understand that being around negative people, regardless of the reason, limits growth and well-being. Prayer Prayer is a powerful force. Prayer can take the form of a conversation with our Higher Power or God, or can be based on pre-written prayers, such as the Lord’s Prayer, or the Serenity Prayer. When we pray, we remind ourselves that we are not alone, and that there is another force beyond us that can assist us in improving our lives. Relaxation All of us need to take time to relax. What is relaxation for one person may be nerve-wracking for another. Some people relax by taking a long bath; others relax by taking a hike. Relaxation is a personal choice. The point is, all of us need to take a

  Sara (These stories are based on actual people. A few facts have been changed to protect their anonymity.) breathed in the cool fresh air. Her car smoothed along the open corridors of Highway 395. White yellow early morning sunlight poured through open windows. She felt the serenity and peacefulness of this wondrous break of day. She noticed how the sky sat like an upside-down blue bowl seeming to encapsulate the mountainous landscape. She heard the birds’ songs bounce from the trees, reverberating and intensifying their orchestral warmup. She relaxed behind the wheel, as she drove back to school after her Spring break in the Sierras. It was good to have time alone. She hoped that this, the last and final semester of graduate school, would pass quickly. Suddenly, out-of-nowhere,she felt “It”. Tingling slowly began in her left fingertips. She shook her hand and continued to drive. But the tingling persisted, and crawled, like a spider, from her wrist, up her arm, onto her neck and into the left side of her face. Sara’s heart raced. She never experienced anything like it before. She prided herself on her good health, especially since all the adults in her family had had heart attacks or strokes. “Oh my God, I’m having a stroke. Here I am miles from home and civilization, all alone. No one will find me. I won’t be able to finish school; there goes my dream of a Master’s, a good job. I’ll be dead or deformed…” Panicked,she pulled off the highway into a rest area. “What should I do? Who can help me? What if no one is around?What if I ask someone and I end up getting robbed?” By now, Sara’s entire left arm and face were numb.She stopped the car and just sat there, chest pounding, feeling lightheaded and more scared than she could ever remember. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. And then, slowly she noticed the numbness started to disappear.Checking herself, she moved her hand across her face, prodding and poking, then down her left arm squeezing it from top to bottom. It had sensation. Then she shook her left hand and rubbed her fingers together. The numbness was gone. Shaken, she carefully continued the drive home. She didn’t know what happened to her, and tried to put it out of her mind. Years later, following similar instances, Sara would begin to understand what had taken place,that she had had a Panic Attack. But for now, the journey was frightening. Sara’s story is real. She is one of the millions of Americans who experience anxiety.Statistics state that 20 – 37 million Americans suffer from anxiety of some type. The estimate of 20 million means that 1 in 9 people have some problem with anxiety! Not everyone who experiences symptoms of anxiety has a panic attack, nor even an anxiety disorder. Anxiety,in and of itself, is a normal emotion. All of us have had times when we feel anxious. Sometimes the anxiety may even be helpful to us by prodding us to complete some task. Excess and intense anxiety over time, however,creates a problem. It throws us off balance, disrupts our lives, and creates chaos, or a lack of order. It is this excessive anxiety that defines anxiety disorders as outlined in the current manual mental health professionals use, known as the DSM- V. On the other hand, persons like Sara who have panic attacks can develop panic disorder. Sara’s symptoms were intense and seemed to come out-of-the-blue. She didn’t know it, but she had had a panic attack. Her symptoms included heart palpitations, sweating, numbness and tingling in her extremities,light headedness, trembling and fear of dying. What is anxiety? In its simplest definition, anxiety is “worry or uneasiness about what may happen,” or “a tense emotional state”. However, all of us experience some anxiety. Some anxiety is part of our everyday lives,and at times may even help us to accomplish tasks. However, too much anxiety, intensely felt over time is a problem.Anxiety affects our whole beings – body, mind, spirit. It affects us physiologically & behaviorally,psychologically, and spiritually. Physiologically: physical symptoms may include: tension, sweating, heart palpitations, increased heart rate, dry mouth, stomach/gastrointestinal distress. Behaviorally: anxiety can sabotage our actions, affect our speech, or even our memory. Psychologically & spiritually: we feel apprehensive, distressed, we may fear we are going crazy. We may even feel some amount of detachment, or think we’re going to die. How does Anxiety differ from Stress? Hans Seyle, the father of stress research, says stress occurs when “our body responds to a demand in a nonspecific way”. What does that mean? Simply put, when we experience any stressor, our bodies’ balance/equilibrium gets shaken up and we react. Something can happen, and we respond to it. The response may or may not have anxiety attached to it. For example, Ron, a fire fighter, worked on the team putting out major brush fires. His body became tired during his long hours on the line, but he did not feel emotionally anxious. On the other hand, cumulative stress over time can lead to the development of an anxiety disorder. Learn More About Dr. Kindle Connect wiht Dr. Kindle